As I thought back to my own history as a middle school kid, I remember the words that helped me, but I even more vividly remember the words that hurt me.
My English teacher told me I was good at using semicolons in my writing; I've remembered it to this day.
My History teacher teased me for missing my shots in my basketball game. I remember slinking down in my seat as he continued on for what seemed like forever. He turned out to be one of my favorite coaches of all time, so I forgave him quite quickly after that.
As far as classmates from the past go, I don't remember many of the positives they shared, but I do remember the negatives. Just like anybody, I have a tough time getting past the criticisms I hear, even to this day.
Before we relate this to the classroom, this is one of my favorite videos to show kids at the beginning of the year.
As shared in my first "Who Cares?" post, I mentioned physical touch as a love language of children but warned of the social constraints of using this in the classroom. A second love language of kids, according to the book The Five Love Languages of Children, is words of affirmation. Please just think back to your own life and the words you heard about you, spoken to you, the words you said about others, to others. What message are you sending to your students with your words, with your tone?
I am not a proponent of the self-esteem movement because I think it's important to be real with the students, but I do believe that everybody needs to hear something genuinely encouraging about themselves from time to time. In order to reach students on a deeper level, we as teachers need to get to know them. And when we truly know them, we can find a positive aspect of our shared experience to send from teacher to student. We can find words that will lift up rather than break down.
Here are some things I try to do in my classes.
As far as classmates from the past go, I don't remember many of the positives they shared, but I do remember the negatives. Just like anybody, I have a tough time getting past the criticisms I hear, even to this day.
Before we relate this to the classroom, this is one of my favorite videos to show kids at the beginning of the year.
As shared in my first "Who Cares?" post, I mentioned physical touch as a love language of children but warned of the social constraints of using this in the classroom. A second love language of kids, according to the book The Five Love Languages of Children, is words of affirmation. Please just think back to your own life and the words you heard about you, spoken to you, the words you said about others, to others. What message are you sending to your students with your words, with your tone?
I am not a proponent of the self-esteem movement because I think it's important to be real with the students, but I do believe that everybody needs to hear something genuinely encouraging about themselves from time to time. In order to reach students on a deeper level, we as teachers need to get to know them. And when we truly know them, we can find a positive aspect of our shared experience to send from teacher to student. We can find words that will lift up rather than break down.
Here are some things I try to do in my classes.
- If a student has been struggling with turning in homework, I will simply say great job when they do get the work in. (High Fives also work.)
- I like to tell a student 5 minutes before the end of class to come see me after class. As they spend a bit of time worrying that they're in trouble, the compliment I give them when they approach after everyone has left makes their day 10 times brighter.
- Be accepting when a student catches your mistake and make sure you thank them publicly.
- Keep a tally of students (even 1 per day) that you compliment from time to time. Intentionally plan to focus on one student at a time and make sure you affirm that student. You will be surprised how positive your classes become. You'll likely need to affirm multiple students...because it's contagious.
- Blog with your students and require commenting. Encourage students to keep the comments positive and to focus on their classmates who don't have a lot of comments yet. On Kidblog you can set it so the teacher must approve the comments before they're published. This way you can monitor the conversations.
- When making groups, designate group leaders whose sole job it is to keep the conversation positive. Make sure all people in the group know that this role is of utmost importance.
- When correcting students' writing, begin your comment with a specific positive, then instruct on weaknesses, and end with another positive. This takes a lot of teacher time, especially with those who struggle, but it's worth it
What else can we do to make sure our words are uplifting rather than degrading? You tell me.
