In teaching, we have chosen to mingle our destinies with those of the students. We rejoice with those who rejoice, we mourn with those who mourn. My feelings are often affected by students' actions and reactions. After all, teachers call their students their "kids". Of course we care for our students.
But how can you show it? As a male teacher in the 6th grade, I've been told (understandably) to never touch the students. Leave the hugs to the female teachers, especially at the primary levels.
I choose to break that rule sometimes.
My wife has been reading a great book, and I plan to read it over the summer. It's titled The Five Love Languages of Children, and it lists the ways children show and prefer to receive love. As teachers, we know kids are complex creatures, so it stands to reason that a child will latch onto a couple different "love languages". The book lists the five love languages of children this way: 1) physical touch, 2) words of affirmation, 3) quality time, 4) gifts, and 5) acts of service. I plan to write about each one of these individually at some point, but right now I'd like to quickly share my thoughts on the first one listed...physical touch.
In addition to teaching 6th graders at Ripon Christian, I have coached the boys varsity soccer team at the high school for 13 years, and I run a soccer camp for grades 1-8 every summer. I also have two of my own boys, one in 3rd grade and one in 5th grade. I am not necessarily a "touchy-feely" kind of guy (not a "hugger"), but I've learned through many of my own experiences with my students, players, and children that boys feel valued when they have that physical touch.
Just look at what boys will do to each other if left unattended. In the middle school, we're constantly on the lookout for "tackle" football at recess and "dog-piling" on each other for whatever purpose. I often have to tell boys in class to keep their hands to themselves.
On the flip side, I choose to encourage the boys I encounter in class, on my team, and even my own boys at home with my physical touch of choice: a clap on the shoulder. From above or from the side, it can accompany a verbal "good job" or a "we'll get 'em next time". It could mean "it's okay" or "I'm proud of you". Even without words, it could stand for "that was awesome" or "I feel your pain". You could easily add to this list, I imagine. As a guy who teaches, coaches, and raises guys, it's in my nature (or my love language) to whack the kid's shoulder.
Disclaimer #1: not to injure or intimidate...but to encourage. To show you care.
Disclaimer #2: not every boy appreciates the physical touch, so be wise.
Form that teacher-student relationship, and then build it up. Make sure there are boundaries, of course, but above all else, find a way to show the students you care. If a student knows you care, the rest of the day, or the year, or even his entire school experience may become more positive.
I choose to break that rule sometimes.
My wife has been reading a great book, and I plan to read it over the summer. It's titled The Five Love Languages of Children, and it lists the ways children show and prefer to receive love. As teachers, we know kids are complex creatures, so it stands to reason that a child will latch onto a couple different "love languages". The book lists the five love languages of children this way: 1) physical touch, 2) words of affirmation, 3) quality time, 4) gifts, and 5) acts of service. I plan to write about each one of these individually at some point, but right now I'd like to quickly share my thoughts on the first one listed...physical touch.
In addition to teaching 6th graders at Ripon Christian, I have coached the boys varsity soccer team at the high school for 13 years, and I run a soccer camp for grades 1-8 every summer. I also have two of my own boys, one in 3rd grade and one in 5th grade. I am not necessarily a "touchy-feely" kind of guy (not a "hugger"), but I've learned through many of my own experiences with my students, players, and children that boys feel valued when they have that physical touch.
Just look at what boys will do to each other if left unattended. In the middle school, we're constantly on the lookout for "tackle" football at recess and "dog-piling" on each other for whatever purpose. I often have to tell boys in class to keep their hands to themselves.
On the flip side, I choose to encourage the boys I encounter in class, on my team, and even my own boys at home with my physical touch of choice: a clap on the shoulder. From above or from the side, it can accompany a verbal "good job" or a "we'll get 'em next time". It could mean "it's okay" or "I'm proud of you". Even without words, it could stand for "that was awesome" or "I feel your pain". You could easily add to this list, I imagine. As a guy who teaches, coaches, and raises guys, it's in my nature (or my love language) to whack the kid's shoulder.
Disclaimer #1: not to injure or intimidate...but to encourage. To show you care.
Disclaimer #2: not every boy appreciates the physical touch, so be wise.
Form that teacher-student relationship, and then build it up. Make sure there are boundaries, of course, but above all else, find a way to show the students you care. If a student knows you care, the rest of the day, or the year, or even his entire school experience may become more positive.
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